January 18, 2015
On a Sunday
at 7:30 am my alarm clock woke me up. On a Sunday! At 7:30 am!! The good thing
was that because of my nervousness I wasn’t tired at all. My mother had allowed me to take the car, which
was great because Buses aren’t really useful on Sunday mornings. I picked up my
grandma and drove towards the church. It was cold and windy and I wanted to die
because I was really scared. I don’t even know why.
A million
of ‘What If’s were buzzing through my mind. Fortunately my grandma wasn’t
nervous at all. If she hadn’t been with me I probably wouldn’t have stepped
into the building.
At the inside
of the building there were many young men in dark suits with name badges. They
looked like some FBI special agents. Had we just entered a church or had we
entered a police department? Those special agents greeted us politely but I
could see in their faces that they were confused because they didn’t know us. I
told them that Sister Elsa and Sister Belle had invited us. Their eyes lit up
immediately and one of them said that he would go and get Sister Elsa. These agents
didn’t look a day older than me but according to their badges they were called
“Elders”. Weird, weird…
I only met
Sister Elsa for the third time that day but it was more like meeting a good old
friend. She was – of course – smiling brightly and introduced us to some
people. Oh how I like meeting new people! It’s absolutely not awkward at all!
Okay, to be honest, it really wasn’t that bad. I mean, yeah, I was my socially
awkward self but all the people we met were pretty much the opposite. They were
super friendly, brightly smiling, talkative (!) human beings. Sister Belle was
engaged in a conversation so we only exchanged friendly nods.
We were
told that church on Sunday consisted of three parts; each one was about an hour
long. The first part was called ‘Relief Society’ or something like that. It was
for women aged 18 and older. Men and children were in different ‘meetings’.
They sang a
lot during that part and talked about an author I had never heard of. Everything
would have been totally fine if they hadn’t talked about husbands. Yeah, that’s
right. Husbands. They had some words on a blackboard. I think these words were:
children, husband, god, family, church, job, friends and hobbies. A woman was
supposed to arrange those words in order of priority. ‘God’ was already put in
first position.
The Lady
arranged these words like this: God, husband, children, family, church, job,
friends, and hobbies. If I have had to do it that day, it would have looked
like this: god, children, friends, family, husband, job, hobbies, church. The
lady’s order would have been fine with me too because I thought it was her
opinion, but then the woman that led the ‘lesson’ agreed with her and
emphasized the importance of the husband. Apparently the husband was the most
important ‘thing’ after God. A wife was supposed to obey her husband. I was
just sitting there…stunned.
That was an
impossible thought for me. Let’s just say I don’t have the best experiences
with men (though I personally have never been in a relationship before but
shush!!) and ever since I can think I always wanted to be independent … I
didn’t even have plans to marry. Obedience to the husband didn’t sound any
better to me than getting hit by a car or cut into pieces. At that moment I
decided that this church was not for me. Still, I wanted to ask the Sisters
about it first … just to be sure.
For the
next hour we went into a smaller room with only 10 people or something. (I
didn’t count ‘em). I still haven’t figured out the actual sense of that part
but it’s like a more specific lesson about a smaller topic. I think it was
about what happens after death. We had already talked about that with the
Sisters so it wasn’t that interesting. Anyway, I didn’t really listen because I
was busy laughing at Sister Elsa’s Bible. It was the smallest edition of the
Bible I had ever seen! Like seriously, you’d need a magnifying glass to properly
read it.
The last
act was the ‘sacrament meeting’. My grandma and I were told that it was the
most important part but to be honest, it was the most boring part. I really had
some trouble staying awake. Probably it was because I wasn’t nervous anymore
and I could feel the tiredness now.
People
prayed, sang, preached and passed around the sacrament, which consisted of
blessed water and bread. Sounds weird, doesn’t it? I thought it was completely
weird! But then something happened that really struck me.
A man
announced that some missionaries would leave today to continue their mission in
another city. Sister Belle was one of them. She would go to another city and
then she would go back home, which was far, far away from Germany. I would
never see her again. It was like a kick in the gut.
I mean yes,
I had only met her three times now but I already really liked her and Sister
Elsa. I was really sad to hear that she would leave. And she clearly wasn’t
happy about it either. She had been in our city (let’s call it Arendelle to
make things easier :D And yes, I LOVE Frozen!! ;P) for a few months now. She
probably met some great people in Arendelle and that she had to leave seemed
unreal. No matter how much fun I have had with Sister Elsa, I left the church
with a really bad feeling that day.
I said my
goodbyes, thanked her for everything and wished her all the best. There was
nothing more you could do.
And ever
since that day I can’t stop thinking about it. I’m seriously so sad! Yes, I
knew that missionaries don’t stay forever but I never really thought about what
it meant. I’m the kind of person who quickly hates people or likes them. And if
I like them, I like them a lot! Most
of the people I talked to that day were missionaries. That meant most of the
people I talked to and I liked would be leaving forever sooner or later. That
sucked!
I found out
that missionaries get a call that informs them if they will stay or leave every
six weeks. If I decided to meet Sister Elsa and her new, still unknown colleague
again, it would only be a matter of time until Sister Elsa would be gone too…
and then the new colleague, and the next one, and so on. It’s an endless cycle
of making new friends and loosing them again. Unfortunately, I’m absolutely no
person for goodbyes. I cling to well known things. Months after graduating High
School I still wish I could go back because I miss school so freaking much and
I know that I will miss Sister Belle for quite a while. If I get to know Sister
Elsa better and then she leaves in a few weeks … that would hurt!
I do believe in God now. I do believe in the Bible. I won't stop looking for the right religion! But after the husband-thing and the saying goodbye part … I don't think that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints would make me happy.
