I'm A Weird Person

January 14, 2015

January 1, 2015, afternoon:

My cell phone rings. It’s an unknown number. I’ve got a friend… she’s extremely annoying and always calls with an unknown number. I think it’s her and don’t answer the phone because I don’t feel like talking to her right now. A few minutes later my mailbox informs me that someone left a message. I never check my mailbox. I want to put my phone away, but for some reason I can’t, and I call my mailbox to listen to the message. I’m honestly surprised when a woman explains that they are missionaries of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Wow, so many ‘of’s in that sentence) and that I should call them back. Why I’m surprised? Not even 12 hours have passed since I filled in the form! I really didn’t expect to hear from them that quickly. And it’s New Year’s Day! It’s a holiday, isn’t it? Aren’t they celebrating with their families and friends?

My family wants to know why I look as if I’ve just seen a ghost. I tell them about the unexpected call and they laugh. That doesn’t help! I have no idea how I should react to the call. Should I call back? Do I really want to meet these Missionaries? Maybe I made my decision too fast. I should just ignore them, shouldn’t I?

Instead of helping me my family scares me and tells me horror stories about sects and that I will never be able to get out again, once they caught me. In addition, my mother says that if I really want to meet them, I have to meet them somewhere else. She doesn’t want any “sect-people” in her house. I feel a little sick to my stomach and decide to ignore the call. But I have a feeling that it won’t be the last call…and I’m determined to answer the next one.

January 2, 2015, evening:

I’m currently watching “Lost” with my mother. My phone rings. Unknown number. This time I know immediately who’s at the other end of the phone. “The Mormons are calling!” I say wide-eyed. My mother tells me that I should answer the phone because they won’t give up, but I’m too afraid.  Again, with a strange feeling in my stomach, I ignore the call.

January 3, 2015, at noon:

It’s Saturday. I pretty much just got up after staying awake half the night. The doorbell rings. I think it’s the postman and I’m about to open the door, when my mother says, that it’s probably a Mormon. I look at her in shock and beg her to tell them I’m not home. I look absolutely shitty and am not even fully dressed! She doesn’t say anything in response and opens the door. Those are really the Mormons. I hear them ask for me. It’s so weird, but I seriously feel like a serial killer who’s wanted by the FBI.

Of course, my mother being my mother, she completely ignores my plea and calls me. No kidding, for a second I look for places I could hide. Maybe the curtain? Or behind the sofa? If I’m quick I could also take the back entrance and run away. My mother excuses herself for a moment and closes the door. I give her my best “What the heck?”-Expression. She shrugs it off and tells me that the Mormons were two young girls of my age with long skirts who looked just like Jehovah's Witnesses. I tell her that I don’t want to talk to them right now. We have a short discussion. I win. “What should I tell them?” my mother asks annoyed. “I don’t know! Just say I’m taking a shower or something,” I answer. She rolls her eyes. “Tell them I’ll call 'em back!”, I add before she opens the door again. The girls politely leave a card and go. I feel sorry for them but I really couldn’t get myself to talk to them at that moment.

Once again I’m left with a terrible feeling in my stomach and don’t know what to do. I don’t even know why the thought of speaking to them makes me freak out so much. It was my decision to fill in the form, wasn’t it? And I wanted to talk to Mormons for months now, didn’t I? So what the heck is my problem now?

My father comes downstairs and wants to know who it was at the door. When we tell him who it was and that I refused to talk to them he tells me that I am stupid. I should just talk to them already so that I finally accept that Mormons are at least as crazy as Jehovah’s Witnesses.

I am pulled back and forth. One thing’s sure though: I have to call them back now because they will definitely come back, and my mother won’t lie for me again. I ask my parents for advice but they just say that I have to decide it myself. I had gotten myself into this situation… I am on my own.  

I hate to talk to strangers on the phone - I know, I’m a weird person - I just never know what to say. Their number on my phone is a cell phone number. I want to text them but I don’t know if their cell phones can receive text messages. Do they even know how to write a text message? And if I text them…should I ask for a meeting or should I just tell them that everything has been a huge misunderstanding? I could say I was drunk or something and my friends forced me to fill in that form. No, that’s too rude. And I shouldn’t lie anymore.

Hours later:

I finally decide to send a text. Well, it’s more of a tiny, but very formal e-mail. I ask them if they’d be free on Monday evening for a talk. (I even used a complimentary close!). They answer almost immediately. Very informal and with a smiley! A smiley!! Like seriously, I thought they wouldn’t know what a text message is, but they even use smileys! Maybe, against all expectations, they are normal humans after all.

Anyway, after a few more texts the meeting is set up. And they would be coming to our place on Monday because my mother decided that it was safer for me to meet “sect-people” at our house than somewhere else. I can barely sleep the following few nights.

To be continued…




(Okay, the present tense thing doesn’t really work for me. Gonna write the next parts in past tense again :D)