January 16, 2015
The sisters
had asked me to read the introduction of the Book of Mormon and to pray for an
answer to the question whether the Book was true or not. I really read the
first few pages of the Book of Mormon and I also prayed. That felt incredibly
weird. It’s one thing to pray when you believe in God…it’s another to pray when
you don’t.
They told
me that answers could and would come in different ways. The most common one,
though, was a feeling; a feeling of warmth or love, peace or happiness,
patience or goodness, etc.
I didn’t
really believe it. I didn’t think that I would get an answer of any kind… and I
was right. I prayed and nothing happened…I actually felt pretty ridiculous
after praying. I was sure that ridiculousness wasn’t a feeling on their list. Nevertheless,
I was looking forward to meeting them again.
When my
parents saw how enthusiastic and excited I was about the first meeting and the
ones that would follow, they were pretty horrified. They thought that I would
finally be ‘cured’ of my ‘Mormon-obsession’ after I had actually met some. But
I wasn’t. The opposite was the case.
I also told
my grandma about the missionaries and when she heard how excited I was, she
decided that she wanted to meet them too. It was a relief that she didn’t
immediately try to dissuade me from meeting them again.
So, my
grandma joined the second meeting. That one was way more interesting than the
first one. Why? Because on the one hand the main topic (Where do we come from
and what happens after death?) was more interesting, and on the other hand
because my grandma, knowing quite a bit about the Bible, could discuss things
with them. The girls did a very good job though and could clear away many of
our doubts.
At the end
of the meeting I was asked to pray again. Fortunately, I was mentally prepared this
time. Being prepared was useless though… it was at least as embarrassing as it
was the first time. Still, the missionaries invited my grandma and me to church
on Sunday and we agreed. Sucking at praying was apparently no reason to ban
somebody from going to church.
That night,
before I went to bed, I read another few pages in the Book of Mormon and I
prayed for an answer. I know, it’s completely insane, but I swear, when I
finished my prayer I felt a sudden wave of excitement. It was incredibly
strong. It was as if someone had just told me that there would be a
Frozen-sequel! Well, ok…maybe not that
strong, but it was clearly there and I had no explanation for it.
